


Count the days ('til I carry you home)

by space_ally



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Clint Barton, Board Games, Clintasha - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grandpa Boyfriends, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Monopoly (Board Game), Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Protective Bucky Barnes, Public Display of Affection, Steve and Bucky are dating, and alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 07:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14732525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_ally/pseuds/space_ally
Summary: In moments like these, he always thought about the name they gave to Bucky, the Winter Soldier. It felt so wrong because to him, he was the opposite of Winter, he was warm and welcoming and never cold. He could take a cold shower and still make Steve feel all sunny inside.Steve is receiving death threats and just doesn’t care one bit. Bucky’s all like “You’re a fucking idiot, I’ll protect you”.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm back, Infinity War killed me, no spoilers though. 
> 
> Just a heads up, this is AUish. Steve and Bucky are dating. They still work for SHIELD, Tony and Bucky are not fighting. Clint and Natasha are dating as well. Am I ignoring everything that happened in Infinity War? Definitely. 
> 
> Title from Barns Courtney's "Hands"

Steve’s nose was buried in some kind of magazine, completely focused on some article in it, while having breakfast. It wasn’t a new sight to Bucky, Steve never really paid attention to his food but rather newspapers, magazines, occasionally a smartphone but if Bucky was there with him, all the attention belonged to him.

“Morning” the former assassin greeted and kissed Steve on top of his head, making his way to the kitchen counter to pour himself some coffee, “What are you reading?”

Steve let his spoon fall back into his bowl of cereal and greeted Bucky back, putting the magazine away. “Just… Some article about some gaming device, don’t ask me, I still haven’t figured it all out. You came back late last night, did everything go alright?”

Bucky nodded and sat down at the table. “Clint ran right into a trap, Nat tried to free him on her own, it was a whole thing.  It was actually pretty entertaining. They were wondering why you weren’t there though.”

“I can’t-” Steve started, interrupted by Bucky, “That secret mission you can’t tell anyone about, I know. I told them you got food poisoning.”

“Well thank you” Steve mumbled, shaking his head, “I can’t believe they accepted that reason, I don’t even think any of us can get food poisoning.”

Bucky waved it off and took the magazine that was laying on the table, flicking through the pages. “Was this in the mail today?”

Steve shook his head, “It’s from yesterday. I didn’t check for mail yet. Are you waiting for something?”

“None of your business” Bucky replied and poked Steve’s cheek on his way to the front door. Ever since they moved out of the Stark tower to their own little apartment, there was definitely less mail, since their address was private and only their friends and some companies knew about it even though they used fake names if they got food or other stuff delivered. Sometimes there were a handful of ‘Thank you’ letters addressed to Steve, or, less common, to him but that was about it. And Bucky liked it that way.

He gathered a rather large pile of letters and two small packages and made his way back to their apartment, looking through the pile while doing so.

“Where do they get this address, jeez” he commented, setting down the majority of the pile in front of Steve who shrugged and answered, “You have to admire their determination though.”

Bucky quickly hid the packages while Steve wasn’t looking, since their contents were part of his anniversary gift to Steve and started opening some of the leftover letters.

“It’s fan mail, isn’t it?” Bucky asked, seeing Steve reading. He got up and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s torso, joining him reading.

“That was rather cute” Steve smiled and opened another letter, “I wish they had left their address so I could write back or something. Maybe Tony can help figure-”

Steve stopped mid-sentence, folding the letter he just opened back up and putting it under the pile of unopened mail.

“What’s up with this one?” Bucky asked, trying to fish it out but Steve stopped him, “Don’t! It’s… Nothing. Can we just… You didn’t eat anything yet, why don’t you sit down and I’ll make some scrambled eggs or something?”

The blond took the letter and messily shoved it in the back pocket of his jeans. He had quite the reflexes but Bucky did too and managed to snatch it, dancing out of Steve’s reach and taking a quick glance at the letter. His expression shifted and he stopped moving, Steve gave up, sighing. 

“That’s a death threat” Bucky said, looking up at Steve.

“It’s nothing. Can we just go back to having breakfast please? You were in such a good mood and-”

Bucky cut him off, “A fucking death threat is not nothing, Steve! Apparently whoever wrote this knows this address, they could be waiting outside for you. Or watch you. Or whatever really, it’s _not_ nothing!”

Steve made another attempt to take the letter from the brunette but failed, “Come on, Buck, I get stuff like that all the time, don’t worry about it. It’s just… Part of the job.”

“All the time? How many of these have you received?!”

“I don’t- All I wanted was a peaceful morning, we’re both done with our recent missions, can’t we have a day off like a normal couple?” the blond asked and massaged his temples.

“How many, Steve?” Bucky repeated, voice dangerously low.

“Five over the course of the last week” Steve gave up and sat back down.

“Are they from the same person? Do you still have them? When did that whole thing start?”

“Is that a fucking interrogation? I don’t know okay? Maybe? I threw them away because I don’t care, some people don’t like my job or who I am, so what. Big news.”

Bucky moved closer to Steve but the soldier averted his look.

“What if they hurt you? What if they really kill you? Dammit Steve, you can’t be mad about me being worried about you!”

There was a part of Steve that understood Bucky’s concerns but he decided to tune that part out when he answered. “It’s not like people in the past didn’t try to kill me before. They didn’t succeed as you can see. Can you drop it now, please? I was looking forward to a calm day with my boyfriend, is that too much to ask?”

When the blonde looked up at Bucky, the former assassin already knew he wouldn’t stand a chance.

“You’ll get your calm day. But this discussion is not over yet” he agreed stubbornly.

Steve pulled him into a hug and the brunette returned it but his face was saying a whole different thing.

***

They spent their day walking around New York, shopping for a new jacket for Bucky and getting ice cream afterwards. It was a hot day and they were wearing sunglasses and caps to both hide from the sun and people who might recognize them. They just sat down in a small diner to get dinner and Steve excused himself to the bathroom so Bucky fished out his phone to make a call.

“Barnes? I’m kinda busy” he was greeted. 

“I’ll make it quick, I’m busy myself. You have access to some fancy laboratories and stuff, right?” Bucky asked. 

Tony hesitated a minute before he asked “What do you want, Barnes?”

“Someone’s been sending Steve death threats. I have one of those letters. Can you find out where it came from?”

Tony sighed. 

“Post it to me, I’ll see what I can do. Does Steve know about this phone call?”

Bucky’s silence was enough of an answer to Tony. 

“That’s what I thought. Listen, this is not the first time something like that happened. Back when you were still in the freezer, we had a similar situation and my father told me about multiple attempted assassinations too.”

“What are you trying to tell me, Stark?”

There was a slightly longer pause than before. 

“There’s a chance nothing will come out of investigating this issue closer. Rogers is Captain America. Of course he has enemies. You can’t protect him. That’s all I’m saying. I’ll try my best though.”

Bucky tried to keep his voice down when he answered but didn’t really succeed. 

“Well I’m sure as hell not gonna sit around and watch Steve get killed.”

He hung up just in time with Steve coming back. 

“You okay? You look… Intense” he asked and took Bucky’s hands in his. The assassin nodded and put a fake smile on his face. 

“Ready to order?” he asked and let go of the blond’s hands to take a look at the menu. A noise of disappointment escaped Steve but he hid it behind clearing his throat. 

“Who did you call by the way?” he asked casually. 

Bucky lifted his head to look at Steve, quickly hiding his surprised expression.

“Nat asked if we’d like to hang out with Clint and her tonight but I figured that would be the opposite of a calm day” he answered, sticking to the casual tone Steve used.   


They were interrupted by the server setting down the water and the soda Steve had asked for when they arrived, asking if they were ready to order. 

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind hanging out with them, to be honest. It’s been a while since I last saw them and maybe they could help lighten your mood” Steve teased as soon as server, an elderly woman with very bad hearing, left. 

Bucky almost choked on his soda. 

“Alright” he said, coughing lightly, “Let me call them back.”

Steve smiled at Bucky and took a sip of his water, leaning back in his seat. The brunette took out his phone and nervously fumbled with it for a bit before hesitantly deciding to call Natasha instead of Clint, as she would be more likely be able to take a hint. 

She picked up immediately. 

“James? Missing me already?” she teased in her usual manner. 

“Uhm, I’m calling about this evening. You and Clint wanted to meet up, remember? Steve changed his mind, if that’s okay with you two, except if you already made other plans or stuff?”

The redhead answered “You lied to Steve and he’s sitting in front of you and you have to backup your lie, is that correct?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Natasha chuckled. “I want to hear that story. I’ll pitch Clint, you guys bring pizza.”

Bucky sighed in relief. “Roger that. You’re the best, Nat.”

“You bet your ass.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and hung up.   


“They don’t have other plans but we’ll need to bring pizza.”

“Of course we need to bring Pizza” Steve laughed and seemed convinced at last. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overly protective Bucky is everything to me tbh
> 
> Join me screaming about Stucky on Twitter (@ajayalive) or check out my Marvel edits on my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJZtP-nGMyPAYbOqz6jrA2w
> 
> Comments make my day.


	2. Chapter 2

They were greeted with the familiar barking of Clint’s dog, the minute they rang the doorbell. Natasha opened the door and Lucky jumped them enthusiastically, almost knocking the pizza boxes out of Steve’s arm.

“Hey there buddy” Steve gave the boxes to Bucky and knelt down to pet the dog.

“Hello to you too” Natasha commented unimpressed, taking the boxes from Bucky and letting them inside their apartment. Clint whistled so Lucky would let go of Steve and could come in as well.

“Glad you changed your mind” Clint said, looking at Steve and Bucky relaxed a little “I suppose Nat didn’t tell you that we’re going to play Monopoly tonight?”

“Don’t make me regret this call, Barton” Bucky threatened but Natasha intervened, shoving both Steve and Bucky towards the sofa. “No fighting in the living room, you won’t believe it but this stuff is not IKEA furniture. Sit down and help yourself to a drink.”

Both followed Nat’s orders quitely, Clint sat down across from Bucky.

“You weren’t joking” Steve realized, looking at the Monopoly board in the middle of the sofa table “I can’t remember the last time I played that game, wow.”

“That’s not a surprise to be honest, I don’t think it’s that old” Clint answered, feeding Lucky a slice of pizza.

“Sorry to prove you wrong, Barton, but that game is older than both Steve and I” Bucky said, “The last time we played it was back when we were still in school I think.”

Bucky and Steve exchanged a loving look, causing Clint to make gagging noises. Natasha laughed and shoved him in the shoulder.

“James, would you join me in the kitchen for a second?” she changed the topic suddenly while Clint made his best effort to tie Steve into a chat. Bucky only heard Steve’s response before Natasha closed the kitchen door behind them, which went something like “I don’t know, Clint, I never had an energy drink but something’s telling me you shouldn’t mix it with coffee.”

“Why are you lying to your boyfriend, don’t make me punch you.”

Bucky took a step back, not freaked out but taken by surprise by the immediate change of tone.

Kitchen. Smart. There most definitely were knives in the drawers Nat was leaning against. Not that she needed those to be threatening. Bucky took the letter out of his pocket, he had put it in a plastic bag to protect eventual fingerprints or traces of DNA until Stark could take a look at it. He gave it to Natasha.

“Who sent this?”

“I’m trying to find out. I need to get it to Stark but Steve didn’t leave my side the whole day. We had a huge fight this morning because he says it’s nothing. Apparently this isn’t the first one, he just threw the other ones away. I told him I’d drop it but I can’t.”

Natasha nodded holding the letter against the light, investigating it closer.

“I can get it to Tony. It’s just… James, a lot of people hate Steve’s guts.. He’s loved by even more people but that doesn’t change the facts. And you think this is serious and not just an empty threat?”

Bucky nodded.

“They sent it to our private address, there’s been about 5 letters over the last week apparently. I know it might seem overly dramatic but I have a bad feeling about this. It’s just… If anything bad was to happen to him... “ the former assassin turned his head and cleared his throat.

“Alright. Now go back inside and take this with you” she handed Bucky garlic bread, that was still warm, “He’d be suspicious if we just went to the kitchen and came back empty handed.”

“Thanks, Nat. Seriously.”

She just waved it off.

***

“If I’m able to put this tiny silver hat on the tiny silver dog all the way from the bathroom door, do I get Park Avenue?”

“Put the tokens back, Clint, you’re drunk” Natasha took the dices from the archer.

“I’m so disappointed, that dog doesn’t look like Lucky one bit, isn’t that right, buddy?” he asked his dog and held the token in front of him to make the comparison more clear.

“He’ll eat it” Bucky commented, his arm around Steve’s shoulders. They were sitting on the floor around the sofa table.

Steve laughed, “He won’t eat a board game piece, why would he?”

“That dog eats everything” Natasha shook her head and moved her token five spaces. She looked at Clint, “I owe you rent.”

Clint straightened up and looked down on the board.

“He ate it” Bucky said.

“He ate my token!” Clint complained loudly.

“Just choose a different one” the redhead answered and put some cash on Clint’s pile.

“He’s drunk, why is he winning?” Steve asked, turning to look at Bucky, who just shrugged, “No idea.”

Clint crossed his arms in front of his chest. “But I wanted the dog!”

“Then you’ll have to wait about 24 hours, darling.”

“Okay guys, the blast from the past was greatly appreciated, but I think we should head home, it’s kinda late” Steve said, already getting up from the floor. “He’s just afraid of losing”, Bucky teased and made both Clint and Natasha laugh.

The spy got up too, lightly kissed Clint on the cheek and went with Steve and Bucky towards the door.

“It was great having you, see you guys on Monday.”

They said goodbye to Lucky, Clint and Natasha and made their way down the stairs leading to the apartment. It was a lot colder outside then when they arrived but both of them welcomed the night air.

Bucky took Steve’s hand, making the blond smile.

“I’m glad we met with them. I had a lot of fun.”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, me too.”

“It’s a shame Clint is super talkative when drunk, he can’t keep a secret even if his life depended on it.”

Bucky let go of Steve’s hand, surprised. “What are you talking about?”

“Cut the crap, Buck. You didn’t speak to Nat back in the diner. Who were you talking to? What could be so important that you lie to me?”

The brunette shook his head, his hands clenched into fists.

“You, you goddamn idiot! You’re this important!”

“Please tell me this is not about that ridiculous letter again. I told you, it’s not the first time and the people who send letters like that are usually cowards and all they want is attention. Attention you’re giving them by worrying about it.”

“So what, I’m not allowed to be worried about you anymore?”

Steve buried his hands in his hair, not knowing how to deal with the wave of frustration that washed over him.

“Do you sit around worrying if I’m on a mission too? Dammit Buck, I’m not that little kid from Brooklyn anymore, you don’t have to protect me, I can do that myself!”

Bucky slammed his metal hand against the wall of the nearest building.

“Fine. You do you. See you at home.”

He left Steve standing there, next to the damaged wall. He didn’t even look back.

***

Bucky felt bad when he came home, almost two hours after he left Steve alone. Running away never solved any problems. Surprisingly Steve wasn’t home. 

The brunette took out his phone and called him but found his phone lying on the kitchen table. Suddenly, his thoughts spun in a dangerous direction. Did Steve leave the phone there? Did he have it when they were at Clint and Natasha’s? Did he leave it someplace else? Has someone been in their apartment?

Bucky turned on his heel, the whole place seemed unfamiliar all of a sudden. It made him feel sick. This was the place he and Steve lived in. Someone invaded their privacy. 

The former assassin slammed the door behind him and gasped for air outside their place. After catching his breath, he sat down in front of the door. The cold night air wasn’t that welcome anymore. 

He took out his phone again and decided to call Natasha. He’d probably have to face her anger for waking her up this late but he didn’t know what else to do. 

“I’m sorry for calling this late, I’m looking for Steve. Is there any chance he’s with you guys?”

“He was, about half an hour ago. He came back soon after you two left but he didn’t talk much. Just asked if it was okay if he stuck around for a bit. He eventually left. He’s not home yet?” Natasha explained calmly. 

Bucky hid his face in his palm. “He’s not. I-I think someone broke into our apartment.”

“Shit, are you okay? Were you there when it happened? Did you call the police?”

Bucky heard steps approaching and almost caught himself holding his breath. 

“Did you lock yourself out?” Steve asked, eyes clouded heavily, probably a mixture between sleep-deprivation and sadness. 

“Everything’s alright now, sorry again for waking you up, he’s here now. Talk to you soon.”

Bucky hung up the phone, got to his feet and pulled Steve into a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry” he whispered. 

Steve wrapped his arms around the other man and took a deep breath, visibly relaxing. “Me too. Guess we’re just both a little stubborn sometimes…”

They let go of each other. 

“This is mostly a feeling rather than a confirmed fact but I think someone broke into the apartment” Bucky then said and the tension got its hold of Steve again. The brunette opened the door to let Steve in, “I don’t think anything’s missing but some things feel… Out of place, do you know what I mean?”

The soldier nodded and took a look around, his hands searching his pockets the minute he spotted his phone on the table. 

“Please tell me you left it there” Bucky almost begged. He didn’t like Steve’s answer one bit, “I brought it with me when we left. I’m sure I did. How the hell did it end up here again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I finished this chapter at 5 am?


	3. Chapter 3

The room was quiet except for Steve and Bucky’s even breaths and the occasional rustle of the sheets. 

“Buck?” Steve disrupted the silence. “Hm?” his partner answered. 

“I can’t sleep.”

The rustling of the sheets got louder when Bucky moved closer and pulled the blond in his arms, the hand Steve’s head was resting on holding one of his hands too. 

“Why would they break into our apartment now all of a sudden? They’ve been sending these letters for weeks and never did anything. What if you were home earlier? What if you surprised them? They could have done god knows what to you and I wasn’t there.”

Bucky kissed Steve’s cheek. 

“Stop worrying about ‘What Ifs’ and try to get some sleep.”

The blond bit his lip and stayed silent for a little while before speaking up again, “It feels weird now, being here. As if someone… Stole the illusion of safety. The feeling of being home.”

The former assassin opened his eyes and sighed. “I know. But we’re safe. We have each other’s back.”

“I love you, Buck.” - “I love you too, Punk.”

***     


“You two don’t look like you got much sleep last night” Thor teased the super soldier and his partner. They were sitting in the briefing room of the Avengers tower, the glass surface of the meeting table reflecting their tired faces right back at them. 

“Someone broke into our apartment” Steve answered, suppressing a yawn. Bucky didn’t even try to hide his. 

“Your apartment? Oh my god, are you okay?” Bruce asked, “Do you have any idea who could have done something like that?”

They both shook their heads. “Police was there but found nothing, no traces of a break in and nothing’s missing” Bucky explained.

“And you’re sure you didn’t imagine the break in?”

“Yes we’re sure, thank you for your contribution, Clint. How’s your hangover by the way?” the former assassin asked. The archer answered by putting his sunglasses back on and folding his hands around his coffee mug. 

“Okay, that’s enough intel on our personal stuff, can we begin?”

Tony entered the room jauntily, just in time to hear Steve’s question. 

“Oh no, did I miss the juicy gossip part? What a shame. Romanov, brief me, go.”

“Fuck off, Stark”, the redhead answered, a smile on her lips however. 

“Always hurting my feelings, those red haired women, but you can’t help but love them” he answered, sighing dramatically but stopped when an empty soda can hit his head. 

“Get to the point or I’ll leave” Natasha said. 

“Rude” he commented but started the briefing anyway. 

***

“If we’re just here to free some hostages, why are all of us here?” Thor asked, taking a look around the Quinjet. Almost all of them were there, except for Wanda and Vision. 

“Valid question that I don’t feel like answering. So any other, mission related questions?” Tony stood up and checked if anyone wanted to say anything. “My question was mission related” Thor grumbled. Bruce tried to console him by lightly patting his head. He stopped when he saw the look on Thor’s face. Sam watched the exchange laughing. 

“He’s not wrong though” Steve intervened, “It’s an unnecessary risk, we could get spotted more easily. It would make sense to split up into teams, you, Sam and Clint someplace higher, checking the area. Nat and Buck through the back. Thor and I could create a diversion at the front.  And Banner is our worst case scenario. No offence.”

“None taken” he answered.

“Cap? Sometimes you’re super annoying. Full offence” Tony sighed. “But also I’m right and you know it” Steve answered, not able to hide his grin. 

“Fine. We’ll follow the old man’s orders. Now suit up.”

“We are already suited up” Natasha mentioned, seeing the puzzled looks from her team members. 

“Yeah, well, I just wanted to say that for the dramatic effect, shoot me.” - “I might” the spy fired back.

Tony grinned. “I know.”

***

Bucky was helping the last one of the hostages out of the building into a helicopter, while Natasha knocked out the last one of the guards. Saving the hostages went pretty smoothly but they didn’t hear anything from any of the other teams for a while now.

“We got all the hostages out, Clint, Steve, status report” the brunette asked over the intercom.

“We could use a little help here” Thor answered, “Maybe even a code green. How did we not know that those mad scientists used to breed weird alien lifeforms? And why did no one mention how aggressive they are?”

“Clint? Tony? Sam? What’s going on?” Natasha joined the conversation, signalizing the pilot of the helicopter to take off. 

“We got split up, I can see Thor but I’m grounded, one of those beasts bit off part of my wings” Sam answered, fight sounds audible in the back. 

“I’ll pick you up and give you a lift to the Quinjet. Banner, are you ready to smash some aliens?” Tony asked, while Nat nodded in Bucky’s direction and they started making their way towards the fight. They almost had to dig Clint out of the ground, buried under a pile of weird creatures. He was unconscious but alive. 

“We need another lift, Barton got attacked. What the hell happened, I thought this was a safe mission?!” Bucky asked, seeing their “Worst Case Scenario” hit the ground and start tearing some aliens to pieces. 

“Watch out!” Natasha pulled Bucky aside before one of the creatures could get ahold of him. Tony came to a halt next to them, quickly assessing the situation. 

“Stark! Have you seen Steve anywhere?” the brunette asked the other man who shook his head, “He’s probably just busy, don’t freak out.”

Bucky tried reaching his partner through intercom again. There was no response. 

“Maybe he lost his earpiece, everything will be alright, calm down, okay?” Natasha’s intonation was serious but the worry harboring in her chest regarding Clint was something she couldn't hide. Bucky nodded and took a deep breath, storing these kind of thoughts all the way in the back of his head, before plunging into the fight.

“Barton’s alright” Sam informed the remaining fighters after a while. They had managed to get rid of almost two thirds of the creatures, especially with the help of the Hulk. Natasha sighed in relief and stabbed another creature. 

“It’s been forty minutes, has anyone seen Steve?!” Bucky asked again, his movements sloppy because of his occupied mind. 

A well-known shield hit the alien in front of Bucky in the head and made both the creature and the former assassin look in the direction it came from. “Still here” Steve managed to get out. He was bloody and bruised up but alive. Mirroring most of them. 

“It’s time to sing a lullaby to the Big Guy” Tony informed and Natasha nodded, “Got it.”

“Let’s get out of here” Thor said, grilling the remaining creatures with a lightning. “Gladly” Steve agreed and let himself fall into Bucky’s arms. 

***

“We’re getting too old for this shit” Bucky said, kneeling in front of Steve to take a closer look at his injuries. 

“You say that every time” Steve laughed but winced in pain while doing so. Natasha passed them, giving the brunette the opportunity to ask about Clint.

“He’s all patched up and already back to talking nonsense and getting on my nerves. How are you two holding up?” she answered, the fond smile on her face giving away her true feelings about the archer. 

“We'll live” Steve said without giving Bucky the opportunity to answer, pulling him back up so he could sit down next to him. “Can't disagree on that” the former assassin murmured and closed his eyes for a bit. The lack of sleep made itself noticeable all of a sudden. 

Natasha completed her walk through the jet, checking on their teammates, Tony joining her for a while before making his way over to Steve and Bucky. “Tell me about the break-in” he demanded. 

“There’s not much to tell about it. Nothing was stolen, no fingerprints anywhere that don’t belong to Buck or myself, nothing. The only thing that’s slightly weird was my phone. It was on the table in the kitchen even though I’m sure I took it with me when we left.”

“Slightly? Someone took it from you and you didn’t notice either on the way to Barton and Nat or on the way back. Slightly weird would be Barton using a mug for his coffee instead of drinking straight from the can. This whole situation is downright insane” Bucky didn’t even open his eyes while speaking. 

“Did someone check your phone?” Tony asked, “Like, are there any new applications or weird text messages or anything?”

Steve looked at Tony as if he spoke a different language. He then took out the device they were talking about and gave it to the other man. 

“Just… Take it. Please do me a favor though and don’t read through my text messages.”

Tony smirked, “Afraid I’ll uncover some dirty little secrets about our faithful Captain?”

Bucky opened his eyes again to answer for Steve, “He just doesn’t want you to see his attempts at Sexting.”

The former assassin smiled at Steve, content about the rosy color he brought to the blond’s cheeks. He received a light hit in the shoulder as a response to embarrassing his partner. 

“Noted” Tony answered, his expression unreadable as he slowly backed away. 

“I hate you so much” Steve complained to Bucky who leaned closer to kiss Steve’s cheek, “No you don’t. You love me.”

Steve tried to push him away half-heartedly but failed miserably. 

“I hate it when you’re right” the blond grumbled, however, he couldn’t help the smile curling his lips when he felt the other’s arm around him. In moments like these, he always thought about the name they gave to Bucky, the Winter Soldier. It felt so wrong because to him, he was the opposite of Winter, he was warm and welcoming and never cold. He could take a cold shower and still make Steve feel all sunny inside. 

“What a bunch of idiots” the soldier mumbled, leaning against his partner, before drifting into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony slid Steve’s phone across the table, just in time for Bucky to catch it before it could fall to the ground. They exchanged a look, having a conversation without saying a word but the meaning was clear. He didn't find anything. 

“Where did you leave your other half?” Tony asked, looking around the room that was empty except for both of them. 

“Steve went home already. I told him I’d handle everything. So… Anything you can tell me about the letter?”

Tony shook his head. “Nothing. Not a single trace of evidence. Do you know of anyone publicly attacking Rogers or threatening him in the last few weeks, maybe months?”

The former assassin suppressed a frustrated groan. “Not at all. I swear if I’ll find out who is sending these letters and who broke into our apartment-” he was interrupted by Tony asking him to stop making cracks into the table he was resting his arms on. 

“Maybe you should drop it. So far nothing good came out of it and as far as I see it, Steve isn’t that happy about it either.” - “Well thank you for your input.”

They both looked at each other in silence until Tony interrupted the silence, “You don’t care what I think.” 

Bucky pointed his finger at the other man, a determined look on his face. “You’re absolutely right. I’m gonna head home now. See you.”

He left. Tony sighed. 

***

The brunette unlocked the front door, carrying bags with takeout, and used his back to open the door wide enough to get through it without dropping the food. He set them down on the table in the kitchen before going back to close the door behind him. He then went to check on his partner.

Steve was sitting on their bed, hair still wet from the shower he took only minutes before Bucky came home, holding a piece of paper in his hands. 

“What are you reading?” Bucky asked casually, smiling at the sight of the other man. He stopped smiling when he saw Steve’s facial expression, making his way over to him quickly. He sat down next to the blond, carefully placing a hand on the other’s arm. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t get it. I don’t know what I did wrong but apparently I made someone really angry.”

Steve gave the paper to Bucky who read through it. The soldier’s entire posture revealed how the contents of yet another death threat screwed with him, his eyes were dull and Bucky missed seeing his blinding smile. He hated everything about their situation. He threw the paper to the side and pulled the blond into a hug in an attempt to comfort him. 

“Don’t even think about that. You did nothing wrong and I’m gonna find this person. No one threatens you. No one makes you feel bad. Not on my watch” he promised, caressing the back of Steve’s head while talking. Steve took a shuddering breath but didn’t answer. They parted hesitantly.

“I brought food,” Bucky then announced, pulling Steve up with him, leading him to the kitchen, “I thought about the calm evening you didn’t get on sunday so I figured we could try again tonight.”

Steve reached for Bucky’s hands and shuffled closer, his eyes averting the brunette’s. 

“You can’t stay” the former assassin read from his behaviour, receiving a confirming nod. 

“I’m sorry, it’s that dumb mission again, Tony called twenty minutes ago. I thought we were done but apparently there’s another major issue to be considered and I’m not really familiar with the details but it seems like it’s gonna take a while.”

Bucky searched for Steve’s eyes before asking, “How long is a while?”

“Could be up to a week. Not longer than a month.”

The brunette let go of the other’s hands, sitting down at the table, unable to express his thoughts properly. Both of them seperating for missions was never easy but especially considering their current circumstances, this was a disaster. 

“Who will be with you? There’s a huge ass team, don’t tell me it’s just you and Stark because I won’t let you leave if that’s the situation.”

Steve run his hands through his face, rediscovering a tiredness he thought he slept away already. He went over to his partner, sitting down next to him, reaching for him once again. After years and years of being apart, losing each other and finding each other again, their touches served as a reminder that they were together. That the other one was there with them. Sometimes all Steve needed was the weight of Bucky’s shoulder against his. 

The blond leaned forward to let their foreheads touch and put his hands on Bucky’s thighs, looking him in the eyes. 

“It’s gonna be alright. It’s a secret mission, remember? There are about five people who know about it, including you, and I trust those five people.”

Bucky sighed, his hands cupping Steve’s face as he sealed their lips for a gentle touch. 

“I don’t want you to leave” he muttered. 

“They can’t stop me from calling you. And I’ll try my best to get this entire mission done as soon as possible, believe me. I don’t want to leave either” the blond promised before leaning back in his chair. 

“When will they pick you up?”

Steve checked the watch next to the fridge before answering, “In about thirty minutes. Do you have anything special in mind to pass the time?”

“Oh Stevie, you’re adorable when you’re like this.” - “Like what?”

“Exactly” Bucky couldn’t help smiling, seeing Steve’s expression dawn with understanding. 

***

Bucky tried his best to keep himself busy and his mind occupied until he got his daily phone call from Steve. He basically joined every mission he got the opportunity to, he hung out with Clint a lot who was in a similar situation since Natasha joined Steve and Tony on the mission apparently, and went on long runs around the city. 

He even went running with Sam at one point. 

“I can't believe you suggested that, he went on and on and on about Redwing and he’s so goddamn slow please never make me do this again” he greeted the blond, phone clamped between shoulder and ear while doing the dishes. 

He heard Steve laugh and it made him smile. 

“Don't blame him, he's not a Supersoldier, honey, there's no way he can keep up with you. How are you doing?” 

“I'm okay. I miss you. Did you make any progress yet? I mean it's been two weeks already…” he trailed off. 

“Tony is driving us all mad. Yesterday, Nat threatened him with a knife if he didn't stop wasting time. It was quite entertaining, you would have loved it. Nat told me to say ‘Hi’ and she asked me to tell you to watch Clint’s pizza consumption” he paused for a bit before continuing, “I miss you too. I wish-”

There was another silence, followed by the dull sounds of people talking. It took a while before Steve came back to the phone. 

“Listen Buck, I gotta go. Apparently we’ve been discovered or something so we have to act now. Talk to you later, love you!”

The line went dead before Bucky got a chance to answer. 


	5. Chapter 5

There was still shampoo in his hair when he grabbed a towel to put it around his waist sloppily, hurrying to get to his ringing phone. Bucky was slightly out of breath when he got a hold of the device and answered it rather heated, “For fuck’s sake, it's been three days, what the hell happened? I was worried sick!” 

To his surprise, it wasn't Steve on the other end of the line but Natasha, “James. Don't freak out but there were some minor complications.”

Bucky’s heart was racing in his chest as he clutched the phone tighter. 

“What  kind of minor complications?” he asked, his voice dangerously low. 

“I don't know how much Steve told you but they already knew we were coming. No idea how they found out but that whole thing was a close call.” - “What happened, Nat? Why are you calling me instead of Steve?”

There was a long pause on the other side and Bucky was close to freaking out. 

“Buck?” 

His heartbeat slowed when he recognized Steve’s voice. 

“What the fuck is going on, Steve?” - “We're on our way home, I thought maybe you wanted to come pick me up at Stark Tower?”

The brunette sighed, calmer now that his partner seemed alright. It wasn't like he forgot about the three days of complete silence, no text messages, no calls, nothing. Yet knowing Steve was okay and only hours away from being back home, back in his arms made up for everything. He would lecture the soldier about frightening his boyfriend later anyway. 

“Of course. I'll be there in a bit” he agreed. 

“You didn't forget about the dinner tonight though, right? The fancy one at the city hall where we can't back out because it's some important person’s birthday who’s name I can't remember cause I don't care one bit but all the Avengers are coming and Tony would actually kill me if we didn't attend.”

Bucky groaned, glancing at their calendar where the day was circled at least three times, “Not if I kill him first.”

Steve laughed. “I'll tell him you send your best regards. I have to go now, see you soon!” 

They said their goodbyes and Bucky spent ten minutes washing the soap out of his hair, cursing Tony the entire time. He was still mentally insulting him when he arrived at the Stark Tower. 

***

There was a long, still bloody, cut on Steve’s right cheek, a bruise around his right eye and he was clutching his stomach when walking towards Bucky. 

“So that's why Nat called” the brunette said, hurrying to his partner's side to support him. 

“It's already healing, don’t worry about it. It's good to see you” Steve declined the other's offer to support him to pull him into a bone-crushing hug. 

Natasha and Tony left the Quinjet, both injured as well but way less obvious than Steve. They went over to the hugging couple, Natasha clearing her throat. They parted.

“He went back in for a dog. I have nothing to do with any of this” Tony said, pointing at Steve’s injuries. 

“Traitor,” Steve hissed in his direction, before he was lightly smacked in the back of his head by Bucky, “Fucking idiot!”

“Don’t kick a man when he’s already down, he did save both our asses by going back in,” Natasha added, “I'm gonna steer Clint away from the snack machine and head home, see you tonight.” 

“Come on, Captain dumbass. Let's get you patched up and ready for this dinner” Bucky took Steve’s hand, making the blond blush. 

“You’re pretty rude for someone who’s supposed to be very happy to get his boyfriend back” he then complained, following the former assassin anyway, not letting go of his hand. Bucky kissed his cheek, pulling him even closer, “I’m gonna apologize with the coffee I’m going to get you that will make you survive this evening.”

Steve’s eyes widened as he answered, “I don’t think I can ever be more in love with you than I am at this very moment.”

Twenty minutes later he complained about Bucky’s non-existent sense of how to behave in public, kissing his neck in the coffee shop, alternating the kisses with some biting occasionally. 

“That is  _ so _ inappropriate!” Steve hissed but Bucky just chuckled against his skin, “Relax, Stevie, it’s not 1943 anymore.”

The blond’s bright red cheeks made it even more entertaining to the other man. 

“Doesn’t make it any more appropriate, Buck, seriously, people are staring.” - “Then let them stare, jesus christ.”

He did stop eventually, paying for their coffee, but resumed to holding Steve’s hand on the entire way back to their apartment when they left the coffee shop. The coffee definitely helped lighten the mood, they were joking and fooling around, Steve’s lack of sleep making him all silly, a rare sight to anyone. Bucky even got away with stealing about four kisses in public on their way back and a fifth one in front of their apartment, just seconds before both their moods would change again. 

There was a piece of paper taped to their door, letters, cut out from magazines or newspapers or whatever on it. It was another threat. 

Bucky let go of Steve, took the paper and tore it to pieces angrily. 

“You didn’t say anything about it on the phone, were there any letters while I wasn’t home?” Steve asked, feeling his tiredness wear him down again. Bucky hesitated. He didn’t want to make the soldier feel worse but he didn’t want to lie to him either. 

“There were two. But that means they are not watching you or anything because they would have noticed you weren’t there. Which they didn’t” he decided on telling the truth. 

Steve nodded, he didn’t feel like talking about the issue any more. 

“We should get dressed for the dinner, if we’re late-”, he began, Bucky ended the sentence, “Stark’s gonna kill us. I know.”

***

They were a tiny bit late but Tony was talking to the mayor so he didn’t notice. They did look a little out of place, all dressed up but Steve’s injuries still visible and Bucky’s long hair, though put into a neat bun, standing out. Not to mention the former assassin’s metal arm. 

They had a polite chat with Vision, Natasha made fun of Bucky’s hair and Clint carried potato chips with him for some reason and offered them some. Steve declined, Bucky commented with a shrug on Tony’s warning glance and accepted some. 

“Remind me why we’re here again?” the brunette asked after about thirty minutes of walking around and talking to supposedly important people. “Sweetie, you’re dating Captain America, that’s why” Natasha said, chuckling. 

“I fell in love with Steve Rogers though” the brunette complained but they both knew, there was no real complaint behind it. 

They eventually sat down to eat, there were lots of speeches, toasts and other social things that bored Bucky to death. He was pretty sure most of the Avengers felt that way, they were just too polite to make it obvious. Except for Clint maybe but he was an expected exception. 

“Want to get some air?” Steve asked after what felt like an eternity and Bucky almost yelled his answer, he was so excited to leave the room for a while. They went outside on the balcony, the breathtaking view almost atoning for the torture that was this evening. 

“Thank you for doing this. I know how much you hate stuff like that but I’m so glad you’re here with me” Steve said, not paying any attention to the view, completely focused on Bucky. 

“Anything for you” the brunette answered, a fond smile on his face. 

They both leaned against the railing for a while, taking in the sight of New York at night quietly, content by the other’s presence. It was again Steve who disrupted the silence.

“How long do we know each other already?”

Bucky laughed dryly, “Damn, you’re asking me questions… About 80 years? Probably longer though. It’s been quite some time for sure.”

Steve put his hand on Bucky’s that was resting on the railing, before clearing his throat and turning to be able to look his partner in the eyes. 

“I was wondering… I mean… So during this mission I had some time to think about… Us. Life. Many things in general. And I thought about all the stuff we went through. How many times I lost you. And… I really don’t want to lose you ever again. Okay I’m talking nonsense, that part is obvious, I love you, no one wants to lose the person they love most in the world-”

Bucky silenced Steve with a kiss which instantly calmed the blond. He took a deep breath, ready to continue his monologue but instead it was Bucky who said: “Yes. I never wanted to spend my life with any person other than you. So if I interpreted your rambling correctly, I do. Of course I do.”

Steve’s entire face lit up when he toppled towards his partner, hugging him, parting to kiss him and going back to hugging him. Bucky grinned like an idiot too, his heart overflowing with love and happiness.

They stayed like this for about twenty minutes, smiles still plastered on their faces when Bucky asked if Steve wanted to tell the team. They didn’t get the chance to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Captain Dumbass is a valid nickname


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened? Clint smuggled Lucky in and he jumped them and licked their faces and they were happy and everything was fine. Right? Don't ask me, I'm working on three hours of sleep here

There was not a single sound to be heard. To Bucky at least there wasn't. He didn’t hear the people around them, didn’t hear Natasha talking to him, didn’t hear the ambulance arriving, there was absolute silence. 

His hearing came back in the waiting room of the hospital, too many noises coming at him at once. He was staring down at his hands, tainted with Steve’s blood, blood on his skin, blood on metal, the blood he so desperately tried to stop from leaving his partner’s body so quickly. 

His world was spinning, a whirl or noise and blood and  _ fear _ , the fear of losing Steve. He needed to get up, do something, anything but the minute he did, he almost collapsed if it wasn’t for Clint to catch his fall. 

Clint. Natasha. They were with him. Sam and Tony too. 

“Take it easy” Clint said, his voice was calm, it wasn’t too loud like all the hospital sounds and for a moment Bucky let himself find some peace in it. He also allowed the archer to gently ease him back in his chair as well. 

Natasha knelt down in front of him. 

“I know this might be hard to answer but we need to know what you saw, James. Did you see the shot? Was there anyone out there with you two?”

Bucky shook his head slowly, avoiding Natasha’s looks. “It was the one who sent the letters. I know it. I should have been more careful, I should have known, I should have-” Natasha grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him lightly. 

“Don’t go down this route, James. It was not your fault. There was nothing you could do.”

There was a single tear, leaving a wet spot on his pants. Tony cleared his throat and got up from where he sat, “I’m gonna see if I can get any information from the nurses.” 

A wave of anger rushed through the former assassin. The one responsible for hurting Steve was still out there, probably pleased with what he did. Bucky felt the anger burn in his stomach, his hands shaking as he clenched his fists. 

“I’m going to find them and I’m going to kill them” he said, his voice so low, only Natasha heard him. She pulled him up and lead him away from the others, guiding him into an empty room. 

“I’m going to make you an offer, James. I will go back and I will find whoever is responsible for this. You know I will. And I’m going to let them disappear. You can’t tell anyone about it though. We never had this talk. Just say the word.” - “Yes.” 

Natasha left. Bucky took a shuddering breath and stepped back outside. 

***

Bucky thought the waiting felt like torture. Seeing Steve laying there, pale skin against pale sheets, eyes closed, so  _ fragile _ , it was even worse than the waiting. 

“He was in a weak condition when he got shot. That affected the intensity of his injuries.”

Bucky’s eyes widened in panic when he looked at the doctor, “What is that supposed to mean?”

The man in his late thirties had a pitiful expression on his face and the brunette felt like wiping it off using drastic measurements. He restrained himself from getting any closer, holding Steve’s cold, unmoving hand in his. 

“I can’t guarantee a healing, serum or not. I’m afraid we’ll have to wait and see how his body manages to deal with the wounds.”

Tony led the doctor out of the room, sensing the invisible waves of danger coming from Bucky. He closed the door behind them, giving them some privacy. 

“Come on, Stevie. You can’t do this to me, you have to wake up, okay?” Bucky whispered, Steve’s right hand in his, leaving soft kisses on his fingers, “Who’s going to save all the stray dogs on secret missions if you’re not there? Who’s going to hog all the sheets in our bed if not you? Who’s going to save the world?”

He felt tears burning in his eyes and his throat closing up. His voice was broken when he added: “Who’s going to save me?”

Steve remained unconscious. Bucky hid his face in the blond’s shoulder and for the first time in years, he cried. He cried all the tears he didn’t get to cry when Hydra took his memories from him. The tears he didn’t get to cry when he failed to recognize Steve. When he noticed what he did, fighting him, almost killing him and he couldn’t do anything about it. The tears he never cried when waking up in the middle of the night, shaken by nightmares, when their apartment felt unfamiliar, when Steve felt unfamiliar. The tears he felt too numb to shed when he was holding on to Steve’s lifeless body, on that balcony, his entire world in his hands, threatening to bleed away like watercolors through a piece of paper. 

He was clinging on to the frail heartbeat in Steve’s chest for dear life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm listening to the most amazing Stucky fanfic btw, if anyone's interested in some feels, here's the link to the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/1222604333/playlist/48kxmKRiZgfS9XwiSa6RAH


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's past midnight here and I should be asleep and yet here I am.

Bucky didn't hear from Natasha for six days. In fact, none of them did, not even Clint. It was 5:43 in the morning on day seven when Bucky woke up from the sound of a door opening. 

“Did no one send you home yet? You look terrible” Natasha commented on the dark circles under Bucky’s eyes, his unshaven face and the fact that he was still by Steve’s side. 

“Did you find them?” the former assassin asked, his back cracking when he straightened it. The redhead nodded and came closer, looking at the soldier who was still unconscious. A sad smile ghosted over her lips when she saw the couple’s fingers intertwined. 

“It's done. Any news from the doctors?” 

Part of Bucky’s tautness left his body. Natasha dealt with it. He trusted her like he trusted no one else except for Steve. If she gave her word, she damn well kept it. 

“They say they can't do anything. Except wait and hope. That's what I'm doing. I'm waiting and… And hoping.” 

A heavy silence fell over the room. Natasha put a hand on Bucky’s back, a gentle reminder that she was there for him. 

“He asked me to marry him. We were on our way back in to tell you and the others about it. 80 years. It took us 80 years to realize? I could have proposed sooner. Make a huge deal out of it, surprise him, be cheesy, all the shit he gets stupidly excited about and loves so much even though he’d die of embarrassment if people knew. And I didn't because- I don't know why I didn't.”

“I do,” Natasha said, to Bucky’s surprise, “You've been in love for so long. You’re used to being around each other. Marriage doesn't change a thing about your feelings for each other. You don't need to prove anything to anyone, because this is a thing between the two of you, too powerful to be understood by others. That's why it never crossed your mind. That's how it is with Clint and I at least.” 

Bucky chuckled but the sorrow consuming him overshadowed his chuckle. 

“You're a wise woman, Nat. I'm glad to know you.” - “I'm glad to know you too, James.”

Her hand left his shoulder as she turned to leave, “Hang in there. Steve’s too stubborn to give up. And he has a damn good reason to come back.”

***

Bucky woke up to the sun shining through the blinds of the hospital window after he fell back asleep when Natasha left the night before. Something was different though. 

He couldn’t determine what by looking around the room, he did notice when looking down on his and Steve’s hand, still intertwined. The blond was returning his grip. 

Steve was returning his grip. 

Bucky stopped breathing for the fracture of a second, heartbeat picking up when he used his free hand to push the button to call the nurse. He leaned forward to take a closer look at his partner and found his breaths to be more even than before and the cut on his cheek finally healing up. It should have done so way earlier but apparently the shot slowed the healing process regarding his entire body. So this had to be a good sign. It just needed to be a good sign.

They needed a win. Bucky needed a win.

He needed Steve back. 

***

Three days had passed since there hadn’t been any changes to Steve’s situation. The silver lining that was his healed up cut frustrated Bucky more than it helped him when the doctor’s told him it didn’t mean anything. He couldn’t even remember the last time he was at their apartment, refusing to leave Steve’s side. After another week of no changes at all, Natasha and Clint forced him to go home, get himself some proper food, a shower and some sleep. They promised they would stay with Steve and call the minute something happened.

The apartment was cold and empty. The mailbox was overflowing with letters. Bucky turned on the tv, just to fill the place with some noises but “Captain America struggling for his life” was all over the news so he turned it off again. 

There had been some people from the press trying to get a statement out of him but they stopped when he threatened one of them to bite his thumb off if they didn’t stop. He would never bite someone’s thumb off of course. There were cleaner methods to shut people up. 

The shower did make him feel better even though he would never admit that to Natasha who told him so. Mainly because she would tell him that she told him so. The fresh clothes were not bad either.

The food he threw in the microwave rarely counted as a proper meal but it was no snack from a hospital vending machine so he figured he should be fine. After he was done, he did the dishes and went back to the bathroom to pick up his clothes. 

He dug through the bag of clothes he brought back from the hospital, clothes Clint had picked up for him so he could change out of his bloody clothes from the night of the dinner. He couldn’t stand the sight of them so he wrapped them in some other clothes and threw them into the washing machine without turning it on. He would deal with that later. Steve’s shirt was a completely different thing though, there was no way it could be saved so he threw it in the trash, captivated by memories from the evening for a moment. He noticed his hands shaking and took a deep breath. He really needed some sleep. 

The empty apartment was awful to bear in general but their bedroom completely threw him off. Steve’s clothes were lying around, messily thrown on the bed because they were in such a hurry to get to the party in time. 

Bucky grabbed the t-shirt and it was overwhelming how much it smelled like Steve, unadulterated by the sterile smell of the hospital. 

He eventually fell asleep, clinging to the shirt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many more chapters are to come because writer-me is a mess and never plans her stories out before writing them. Everything you just read? Whatever came to my mind when I was staring at the document for a long enough time. 
> 
> Also feel free to check out my other Stucky stories!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say final chapter?

A night filled with bad dreams and constant panicked waking up made it easy to leave quickly in the morning. 

Natasha wasn’t pleased with how soon Bucky was back at the hospital but she also knew every attempt to reason with him would be useless so she just woke up Clint who was napping in a chair and asked Bucky to call them if he needed anything or if there were news. 

Around noon, Tony visited. He was a frequent visitor as well as Sam but it was usually just some awkward standing around and having pointless talks, ending in an uncomfortable silence. 

Of course the other Avengers visited as well but that all happened in the earlier days and Bucky had his difficulties trying to tell those days apart. 

He was alone with Steve again when the sun set. 

“I went home last night but it didn’t feel like home without you” Bucky told his partner. He didn’t know if his words were heard but he missed talking to the blond so bad, those doubts didn’t stop him. 

“You know how bad I regret not proposing to you in a special way? Now when people ask how we got engaged I can only talk about your adorable rambling and how I was too rude to let you finish. I mean the view was amazing but I couldn’t care less about the view, you looked way more amazing. Not to mention how you got shot right after it.”

“I don’t know, sounds like a great story to me” a hoarse voice answered and Bucky almost jumped in shock. 

“Stevie?” he asked, not able to comprehend what he saw. In theory sure, apparently Steve had woken up. In reality his mind was screaming incomprehensible things at him. 

“I didn’t want to interrupt you” the blond coughed and tried to sit up in the hospital bed, wincing in pain, “You look beautiful by the way.”

Bucky sat down, staring at his partner, finally reaching for his hand, getting back up to connect their lips, hasty movements but careful as if the other could break under his touch. 

“I thought I lost you” he whispered, their lips only inches apart. They were close enough for one of Bucky’s tears to land on Steve’s cheek.

“Sorry to disappoint you” Steve answered jokingly before leaving multiple kisses on Bucky’s lips, cheeks and chin, whatever part of skin he could reach from his position. 

“Don’t make me hit you” the brunette threatened but they both knew there was no way he would ever, “Fuck I missed you so much.”

They just stayed like this, Bucky leaning over Steve, foreheads touching, breathing in each other’s scent. 

“You know what?” Steve asked after a small eternity, when Bucky finally had laid down next to him, head resting on his collarbone, drawing circles on Steve’s palm with the hand that wasn’t holding the blond’s. 

“What?” the former assassin asked, barely lifting his gaze. 

“I wouldn’t change a thing about that proposal.”

Bucky stared at Steve, dumbstruck. 

“You’re an idiot.”

***

Turned out, he wouldn’t mind changing the “Getting Shot” part after all, when he learned how the wound made moving insanely painful. 

They didn't let him leave the hospital for a few more days and it made Bucky pace around the room in circles, impatience growing, infecting Steve who seemed unable to stay in bed and rest now that he was conscious again. 

“Someone tie that man to his bed, jesus christ!” Barton commented when Steve got up yet another time while they were playing cards. 

“Can someone update me on the situation, please?” he asked and of course he asked about the job. As if that didn't almost get him killed days ago. Turned out the shot was heavily tied to the secret mission they went on earlier. 

“Situation is, get the fuck back to bed, you're not allowed at work until you healed completely. Which you aren't, judging by your facial expression” Natasha said and drew a card as if she didn't just lecture Captain America. 

Bucky hid a small smile behind his cards, he was glad Nat and Clint were there with him. His eyes were carefully watching the blond’s movements though. Natasha may have dealt with the shot but the brunette wasn't able to fully relax until he got Steve back at their apartment, healed up, back to normality. Maybe not back to normality completely, he wouldn't mind taking a few more days off at work, maybe plan a short vacation, leave the city for a dew days. 

Something in Natasha’s voice didn't allow to object so Steve climbed back under the covers. His hand automatically connected to Bucky's. 

“Did you guys decide on a wedding date yet by the way?” Clint let the question slip into their casual conversation. Steve looked up from his cards, hitting Bucky lightly in the arm. 

“I can’t believe you told them without me!” he complained. 

“Glad you’re getting your strength back, Stevie, but  _ ouch _ ! I told Nat. Are you going to hit her too because she told Barton?”

Nat lifted an eyebrow provokingly. Steve’s anger fell flat. He shook his head. 

“Don’t be sad, Steve, you still get to ask me to be your best man!” Clint declared solemnly and Natasha burst into laughter. 

“Why would he ask  _ you _ of all people to be his best man?” Bucky wanted to know and drew a card from the deck, exchanging it for one he was holding in his hand. 

Clint crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking offended. “Because he can’t ask you, dumbass, and you’re going to ask Nat so he can’t ask her either. And he’s not going to ask Sam because we’re way closer, right, Steve?”

“Actually…”

“Oh come on, Rogers! Now it’s just plain right insulting!”

They all started laughing and Bucky found himself relaxing against Steve’s side, the blond’s eyes shining, tears of laughter glimmering in the neon lights of the hospital room. And maybe they weren’t home in a literal way, like at their apartment, but as long as they had each other, they were always home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys want like, another chapter about the wedding? Because I could add that maybe? Just let me know. And, as always, comments make my day, if you're looking for more Stucky, check my profile (:

**Author's Note:**

> Join me screaming about Stucky on Twitter (@ajayalive) or check out my Marvel edits on my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJZtP-nGMyPAYbOqz6jrA2w
> 
> Comments make my day.


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